i saw this on one of those strange little picture slideshow websites so i decided to post it ;) have fun kids
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not complaining, but i will say this little spurt of hypomania is coming from left field.
i’m, like, buzzing…
interestingly, in the course of planning the big project my team is working on, we’re really interested in including his unit. their staff and the youth they serve are both part or formerly part of our target population.
so i interviewed him in bed the night before last and felt pretty cool about it.
in other news, spending all my nights with him means my room is a clothing swamp.
i have ALWAYS, without fail, been very quick to say i love you. i’ve always followed that tingly magnetism rapidly into coupling.
and it’s never been good.
i need to hit reset. pay closer attention to my passions and call them what they are. just do something different.
i don’t have any idea what my answer is. i have a picture posted of one of my circle pictures that says, “this is a bed i sleep in. these are words i don’t know the names of,” because if i’m convinced it’s not what i thought it was, if that’s what i’m choosing, then i don’t know what else to call it.
i know the main person i’m playing with (J, if you follow my stories) is intuiting this, and i’m grateful for it, because i know everything is mutual, but he’s not forcing me to name what we’re doing. he’s just doing it with me. pun intended. ;)
by not naming anything.
if i’m cuddled close and sleepy warm fuzzy oxytocinliscious and my brain impulses towards, “i love you,” i push it out and focus on the feeling.
because that’s not love. that’s a really beautiful moment of intimacy, but it isn’t full of the meaning and weight of “love,” and i want to stop conflating the two.
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